


After Forever

by HauntedAutomaton



Series: Mr. Universe and the Crystal Gems: Reunion Tour [11]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Shared Trauma, Trauma, deep time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HauntedAutomaton/pseuds/HauntedAutomaton
Summary: Spinel has felt a trauma no mortal mind can comprehend, and few gem minds can even imagine. There is one, though, who is in the same boat.(Post movie)





	After Forever

Spinel sat on a piece of rubble, kicking her legs idly, waiting for Steven to finish talking to the Diamonds. She stretched her arm down to collect another little piece of shattered injector, and tried, once again, to toss it onto the debris pile she had been making nearby. She missed. Again.

Spinel closed her eyes, trying not to be overwhelmed, when she heard a rushing flutter of water behind her.

“Hey.”

Spinel turned her head, letting it tilt to the side of her long neck. She saw a Lapis Lazuli holding onto a Pearl. The Lapis dropped the Pearl off nearby, then stepped closer. Spinel squinted “Oh, hey, you two, how are ya? Come to make sure I’m leaving?”

“Yeah, a little,” Lapis said. Pearl shot her a look, and Lapis gave a guilty shrug. She took a seat next to Spinel, but gave her space.

The two sat in silence for a moment, with Pearl standing quietly nearby.

“Steven wanted us to make sure you were ok,” Pearl offered.

“To make sure I didn’t flip again?” Spinel asked, but with a bit of a smirk.

“To make sure you knew you weren’t forgotten,” Pearl said simply. She returned the smirk with a bit more sincerity.

“Oh, thanks.”

Spinel flicked another bit of injector over into the little mound of rubble. There was a sudden crash, as a leg from the drill frame slammed into the top of the pile. Spinel spun around, her limbs jagged and splayed, to see a giant water arm extending from over the Lapis.

“Sorry, thought I’d help you.” The terraformer did seem actually apologetic for startling her.

Spinel settled back down, letting her legs drape over the rock she lay on. “Thanks, but I’m not sure you-”

“Steven told me what happened,” Lapis said.

“Heh, oh, good. Yeah, I looked at warp pad for six thousand years because I didn’t want to admit I got left behind,” Spinel gave a dry chuckle. “I gotta say, it’s kinda funny, and I do like making people laugh, so...” she trailed off.

Lapis stood and started to pace. Pearl stepped forward.

“Pink Diamond gave you an order, Those can be pretty binding,” Pearl wrung her hands together. “I would know.”

Spinel gave a sniff. “Yeah, I guess you would. But, she acted like she didn’t even know what she was doing to me.”

“She probably didn’t.”

Spinel sat and thought. “That doesn’t really help.”

“No,” Lapis sat back down, closer, “It doesn’t.”

Spinel turned again, narrowing her eyes, crossing her arms into a knot. “And what do you know about that, anyway, soggy?”

Pearl looked a little disdainful, but Lapis gave a little shred of a grin. “Stuck in a looking mirror for some millennia. Don’t know how long exactly, from sometime in the middle of the war, but time just sort of...”

“Yeah,” Spinel answered, letting her arms unspool, “Time kinda runs together, huh?”

At this, Pearl stepped back a half step, letting them have their room, and tried not to think about how long they were both stuck.

Lapis stared off over the water with a blank expression. “That first time I really felt myself going crazy...looking into forever...that was bad...”

Spinel smirked. “The second and third times, though, those are kinda fun.”

Lapis glanced over. “It’s when you realize it won’t stop...that’s...”

“That’s when it gets bad...yeah...” Spinel finished. She gave Lapis a teary look. “It doesn’t...it doesn’t even feel real...”

“I bet it does seem like a dream,” Pearl offered, “All that time, with just, nothing-”

“No,” Lapis said, “After so long in the dark, _ this _ is the dream.”

Spinel looked at her, worried.

Lapis met her gaze. “Isn't it?”

Spinel gave an empty nod.

“It’s not. You have to keep remembering that. Focus on it, when things get too quiet.”

Pearl crouched on her tiptoes next to Lapis. “Speaking from experience?”

Lapis nodded. “Mhm,” and turned back to Spinel, looking directly into her eyes, making sure she would remember. “When you get back to Homeworld, make sure you get a place where you can be alone, but whatever you do, don’t let it get too dark or quiet.”

Spinel watched intently, listening. “Ok.”

“Should she be alone?” Pearl asked.

“Yeah,” Lapis said, “Spinel, in a few days, you’re gonna get the biggest headache possible. All this light and sound and voices and people, it’s gonna be too much. You’re gonna want to go somewhere dark and silent. But don’t. Go somewhere dim and quiet, but don’t detach yourself completely, or you might start to lose track of yourself again. Don’t do what I did.”

“And what did you did?” Spinel asked.

“I went to space.”

“Ouch,” Spinel said. Then, she looked thoughtful. Then, she wrapped her arms around the Lapis many, many, many times.

“Oomff-” Lapis mustered. “Uh, I guess not wanting to be touched is more of a me thing-”

“Sorry-” Spinel unwound her limbs. “Yeah, I’ve been a little...touch-starved...for...just a bit.”

Spinel and Lapis shared a laugh.

Pearl stood by. “I’m glad you’re doing...better.”

Spinel nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Hey,” Lapis offered, “I’ll get Peri to give you our communication routing number, and you can call us up if you need to.”

Spinel nodded again, her pupils bouncing. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Pearl’s foot scratched the upturned clay. “I feel like...I feel I should apologize, on her...on Pink’s behalf-”

Spinel gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “Nah, it wasn’t your fault. I mean, thinking about it, Pink may not have even thought I’d stick around that place.”

“True,” Pearl admitted, but added, “but I don’t think she thought about it one way or another. Back then she was...careless...in a lot of ways.”

“Eh,” Spinel shrugged, “Also, sorry about your, uh, memories-”

Pearl gave a shrug of her own. “Forget about it.”

“Hey-hey!” Spinel cried, “She has jokes!”

Pearl rolled her eyes, but smiled.

Spinel continued, “So, your Diamond trapped me on a rock for six thousand years, I tried to destroy your planet...can we...”

“No one got shattered, I say we call it even.” Lapis offered.

“Agreed,” Pearl said.

“Works for me,” Spinel said.

“Speaking of destruction,” Lapis continued, “Nice idea with the drill,” she looked up at the largest part of the wreckage, then looked back over her shoulder to Spinel. “I stole the ocean.”

“Haha!” Spinel held her head back, laughing.

“Where did you get this thing, anyway?” Pearl wondered, standing at the base of one of the injector legs.

“Oh,” Spinel hopped up, giving a bounce as she landed. “They had a few laying around the garden in case the plants ever got out of hand, or the place evolved higher life forms.” She continued to look around at the ruins.

“I could...stay...and clean up if you want...”

Another crash of Lapis dropping a disgorged stone onto the rubble pile rang out. “We’ve got it.”

“You go take care of yourself,” Pearl placed a hand on her shoulder, and was immediately engulfed in arm.

“Thanks you guys!” Spinel shot a hopeful look to Lapis, who was watching Pearl get constricted. Lapis eventually rolled her eyes, and offered her hand out, which Spinel gratefully wrapped in a stretched pinky.

“Spinel,” they heard White Diamond call out, “It’s time for us to go!”

“Heh,” Spinel released her friends. “That’s my ride.”

“Be careful about them,” Pearl warned, while stretching her back. “They aren’t exactly...the best role models...”

“Rule one of entertainment,” Spinel winked, forming bubbles to juggle, “Never let your audience get to you, I got it.”

“Bye, Spinel,” Lapis wave.

“Bye, Soggy!”

Pearl and Lapis watched as Spinel bounced and spun her way into the arms of the waiting Diamonds.

“At least she’ll get the attention she needs this way,” Pearl offered.

“True,” Lapis replied.

Pearl squinted, thinking. “About...about your time...in the mirror-”

“Pearl, if you try to apologize for that again, I’ll poof you.”

“Well, it occurs to me that a lot of pain could have been spared if we...Rose and I...had been more thoughtful.”

Lapis watched as down below, Peridot and Amethyst were excavating embedded injector shrapnel. “When is that ever not true? For any of us?”

Pearl smiled, and the pair of them watched the Diamond ship take off, making a heart with its hands.


End file.
